Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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