dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
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