I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
