dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
