No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
