A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
