He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I smell stomach acid.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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