i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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