You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
