we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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