He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
