you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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