The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
