Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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