Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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