are you so shy because you have an std?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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