So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
