What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
