Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
