Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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