Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
