i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
