I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
