We're facebook friends in real life
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I could make wine with my vomit
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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