She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
