OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
well you can't waste a boner
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
