I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
