fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
