You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
