rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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