yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
