i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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