I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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