Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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