Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I need a hoe opinion
go on
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
