How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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