Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
