my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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