you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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