whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
