I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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