Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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