Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
