If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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