If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
