physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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