My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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