Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
