i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Houston, we have a squirter
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
