...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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