WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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