i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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