im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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