Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
